SMALL GIRL, BIG THOUGHTS
10 WEEKS IN GERMANY
After my 3 initial months expected traveling I knew I wasn’t quite ready to return back to normality. The only thing was, I wanted something more, traveling myself was amazing. Having total freedom was great but part of me missed having a purpose to my day other that what I decided it to be. Id remembered somebody telling me about a cultural exchange site called, workaway, in return for working X amount of hours a week you are given bed and board. I made an account, emailed 1 person, a day later Id arranged to go Germany to a yogic and holistic centre outside Berlin in a town called Rathenow.
I felt I had grown so much as a person, my perspectives had changed, I had so many ideas, I was feeling so many things, I was hoping this would be a space to expand these thoughts more and grow further, I was right.
My attitude of don’t think just do was pushing me forward, of course I was slightly terrified about the unknown but equally excited about what could be. I got lost twice on the way, by the time I arrived I was so thankful to arrive at the house, I was greeted by my now favorite Hungarian, he showed me the house and said we would all meet in the garden at 9 for a fire. I was left in my room, the first girl that came in greeted me and asked me what my dream was, shit, what had I gotten into. I knew that there was at least 10 other people, the prospect of meeting all these people terrified me. Little did I know how things would turn out.
After a successful first night at the fire, the next day a wonderful English girl, Jenni, took me under her wing (she still does) and told me how things ran and made sure I was ok. My first job was sanding a couple of huge doors, having never did this I was totally taken aback that they thought I was capable of doing it, I felt a bit out my depth. Honestly my first week was a bit hard, I had went from doing whatever I wanted with all my own space to living,eating and working with around 12 people, i’d never been in such an open environment, everyone was like a big family and I felt a little unsure of my place there but by the end of my first week being there I had fallen so madly in love with everyone and the house. I had also become at one with my doors and really enjoyed the work, Id stand on the ladders for hours listening to Pink Floyd feeling so content with my life, It was very therapeutic, I will always remember that feeling. As I finished working on my doors I was met with more tasks I had never done but took this in my stride, I really enjoyed the work and the challenges that came with them.
When I had arrived, the people who ran the house (Sebastian and Amrit) had been away, I had heard so much about them and was so excited and slightly nervous to meet them, I’d fallen so In love with the project and what they were doing before I even knew them. As soon as I met them I felt at ease,everyone sat at the table, drink tea and talked, I can still remember that moment,how their faces looked, I felt like I’d always known them, Like i’d always known everyone and that I was always meant to be there.
Every morning we all got up for 2 hours of Kundalini yoga and meditation, this was one of my favorite things. I have been practicing meditation for a while now and I had practiced yoga also but never Kundalini. Its valued highly within the house and rightly so, it creates a wonderful energy to begin the day, you all share a connection, you all generate love together to begin the day, that’s so beautiful. Sometimes when I get up early and do yoga I feel like I’m still there, I feel the same energy.
It’s so hard to not write a novel about my time here and pick out what to talk about, so much happened, I fell so in love. Its funny to reflect on my initial few weeks and talk about my uncertainty because after that I felt as if i was home, surrounded by my family. I wish I could talk about every person I met and how much I loved them but there was so many, at one point we were 22, the house constantly changed with the coming and going of people from all around the world and I really did fall in love with every single one.
We lived in an open space where were encouraged to learn and grow. One way of doing this was presentations, they could be about anything we wanted. The first I was at was around the fire on the last night before a wonderful Argentinian (Connie) left, I had so many amazing times with her, we spent a lot of time attached to each other over our mutual love of hugging. I was in tears the whole presentation, It wasn’t really tears of sadness of her leaving because I knew we would meet again (we did), It was of happiness, it was from being overwhelmed. I don’t know what to call what I had that night, it was a realisation, a release, I realised that the whole house was run on love, nothing but love. I was so happy and inspired.
I wanted to do a presentation, I had decided. I was so scared to be vulnerable like that and also because of the ever changing people in the house.A lot people that Id stayed with for a long time had all left so there was a lot of new people. I felt a bit unsure about opening up to some people I didn’t really know but I guess that was part of how amazing it was, I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me yet we shared something beautiful together and I will always be thankful for that.I opened up a lot, I had never been so open and vulnerable, I spoke about things I hadn’t ever verbalised, I guess I told the story of how I ended up there and I said all the things that had been swirling around for the last few months. I felt truly free and loved. The topic was love, self love. I got everyone do write down 1 thing they loved about themselves. It’s a hard task, we don’t ever really think about loving ourselves. I was surrounded by such beautiful people that had given me so much but most struggled to name 1 thing they liked about themselves. It’s a wonderful exercise and I encourage you to do it. We are so quick so say why we love others but struggle to know why we love ourselves. There were tears and so much hugging, I was on a different level. Some people gave me there piece of paper with there reason, I kept them around my mirror until I moved out, they made me smile everyday. Now they are kept in my purse, still providing smiles, thank you guys.
I had already far surpassed my expected 3 week stay, at almost 2 months I realized I missed traveling. The fact we lived so close to Berlin was great, I spent a lot of wonderful weekends there but I made my choice to take 2 weeks out to explore a little more of Germany and then head back to the house for my finial weeks. Naturally my first stop was Berlin for a few days, I felt I knew the city much better than before, I had spent a lot of time here and met a lot of amazing people. I spent a lot of time at Mauerpark on a Sunday, if you go to Berlin i urge you to go. Its got a huge flea market with everything you could imagine including the best vegan gyros ever. You will find so much, a lot of cool people and a lot of amazing music. It’s a cool vibe and attracts so many people, even families having BBQs, I really feel it represents the Berlin magic. I also spent a lot of time at Tempelhofer Feld, it used to be an airport and now it is a huge flat park it’s one of my favorite spots in Berlin.
From Berlin I went to Leipzig, a friend had went and said she love to move there, that was my reason for going, why not. I was really taken aback at how beautiful It was when I arrived, it reminded me a little of Prague. I was staying in the city centre within walking distance of most things, it had a really nice atmosphere, I feel like there’s this cool undercurrent vibe going on there. Always when you meet someone that makes your trip special It makes you a little more bias of a place but it highlights to me how good it is to meet locals and to see parts of the city through them and go places you wouldn’t usually go. I loved Leipzig, everything went very smoothly for me, it’s just a cool place that’s absolutely worth seeing.
From Leipzig I went to Dresden, I stayed with a nicest couchsurfer and again that really made my trip. We cycled around the city (after I learnt how ride again, I fell off once but we won’t go into that..) and explored the old town, the first time I saw it I was totally amazed, it looked like something from Harry Potter. My favorite thing about Dresden is how you can walk for 10 mins and be in a totally different atmosphere, it’s got a lot of offer. I was staying in the heart of the cooler district and it was so chilled and there was cool bars and street art etc but it wasn’t all like that, it was an interesting place.
Dresden isn’t far from a mountainous range that offer a lot of different climbs and views, ranging from the easiest touristy to the more adventurous. Feeling confident of my athletic abilities after conquering after my bike ride naturally I went for the adventurous climb. My starting point was Bad Schanda , fviews were spectacular and the climb was exhausting but rewarding, ok admittedly I came down the wrong way and got lost for hours and it may or may not have been the scariest time possibly in my life but don’t let that put you off, I under estimated the situation and didn’t really think about the fact that this was a proper mountain range and not just a simple case of up down. I will certainly not be making a habit of climbing mountains myself again but it was a cool experience, well once I released I didn’t need to turn feral and live in the mountains.
To finish my time in Germany I went back to PP. It was so funny to return because everyone, expect the 3 of the long term guys, were new. It was like going home to somewhere I felt totally comfortable expect it was filled with all of these people I didn’t know, It was a fun to get to know them all and also a really different experience to go back but still as loving, I felt it deepened my roots there. I knew I was leaving for Poland soon and had to come to terms with not being in PP and not being hugged all the time (I’m still coming to terms with that), even though it was time to move on I know that’s not the end of me and the house.
I spent my last weekend in Germany in Berlin doing all my favorite things with all my favorite people. It was really hard to say goodbye to Germany but I know all good things must come to an end. I know I will go back, I have too many reasons not too, until next time.
